Monday, January 23, 2012

My Journey to Seventy

Can't believe I am already seventy, really, seven-zero?  Wow!
I spelled the year,  well... because doing so  gives me that feeling of  not  'in-your-face' seventy.... if you know what I
I still can't believe I reached this age.  How did I get here?  What happened before I got  here?
Let's see.

Decade One

Oh, this decade was a decade of wishes for me.  I wished I could be like my elder sister because she had the luxury of going to school which I thought was getting away from the household chores.  I wished I was my younger sisters because all they did was sleep and play.  All  I looked forward to was for them to start crying so I could sing my repertoire while swinging the humungous cradle specially made for them.  Did I mention they are twins?  I wished I could be my cousins because they got to play hide-n-seek late into the night while I had to pretend I was already asleep!
But I also remembered Tatay carrying me to my "banig" because I would pretend to be asleep on a bench....  my elder sister saving her school allowance so I could have a beautiful embroidered 'bakya',  my cousin making a flute out of rice reeds.... my younger sisters begging me to stay so we could play some more...
And then, I wished for June because we would go to the big city to buy  bags, notebooks, pencils, and a new pair of shoes for the new school year!!!

Decade Two

This is a very loving decade. 
Here I felt love from family and friends. 
I even found my  BFFL.... we even had (have) a theme song:  With You by Pat Boone!  (Wish Mila is reading this, lol)
Here I felt the angst of first love,  or, was it?..... felt how it was to have a crush on someone who didn't even know I existed, LOL!......  I experienced how it was to choose between two best friends!  (I was ticklessly thrilled!).  I liked it that  they were good sports and remained BFF!..... aahhhhh, young love!!!

Decade Three

Independence ....
I could fly on  my own! (or so I thought!)  I discovered I could do anything, anything at all that I wanted to if not for that inner voice that talked me into thinking before acting.  Thanks to those examples my elders taught and showed me!
But there were times when I was lost;   felt lonely but didn't know why; felt so weak and yet so strong. Oftentimes I thought I knew everything and yet I knew nothing.
I felt so alone even when everyone was around me.  I was just lucky I found the solutions to my own problems myself.

Decade Four

I earned a degree, found a job, got married to, how do they term it - oh yeah,   "love of my life",  had children, went far far away.
This is the decade when my family and I were truly on our own. This is a happy decade.  This is a very adventurous decade.  This is the decade we went to Nigeria - a place we knew nothing about!  Our experience was very educational.  I experienced and learned so many things:  independence, patience and tolerance.  This is the decade where our whole outlook in life changed. I learned how to live without so many of those "necessary" things. And yet I learned to value almost everything and anything. 
The birth of our children changed our life's perspective.  Suddenly everything was for them.  Hubby and I were very happy and yet there is that nagging feeling of what ifs... what if we can't provide for our children, what if we can't send them to school, what if............
Still, we ventured and cruised through that adventure.....

Decade Five

This decade was full of struggle..... struggle that hubby and I hurdled.  Family, friends and relations were always there to give their helping hands.  There are so many highlights during this decade I don't even know
where to start.  I shall need a coach to help me write them down.  Suffice it to say, we conquered it all!!!
I want to thank my kids.  If they were disappointed, they never showed it.  At their young age, they made every load  "lighter" for their dad and me.
We all survived!!!

Decade Six

Finally we found contentment. Everything went fine... kids graduated, found their own loves and got married and gave us grandchildren.    We finally had the loves of our life.

Decade Seven

Empty Nesters....
Suddenly, the house seemed to be so large, the bedrooms very empty, the living room quiet.....
Everyday I wish the next call will be from any of them... if only just to hear their voice...

And I am 70!!!!
AAnd I am 70! am 70!!!

Aaaaaahhhhh.... where is my Kindle Fire?